Birds of a Feather Flock Together, but We Are All Unique – Part II
What if everyone you get "deeply involved" with has a message for you? Do you kill the messenger if you don't like what he or she represents?
The unconscious in all of us has its own agenda — it wants to be known. Sometimes we will say to ourselves, “What does he see in her?” or “What does she see in him?” Well, we can’t judge each other for our intimate relationships. You don’t know what is next in that person’s evolution, and it is not your business to decide what and who is right for anyone. Only their souls know.
As our psyche is striving for wholeness and through the labyrinth of experiences called life, we will come across "others" who are of vital importance to both our psychological and our spiritual journey. They are chosen by the Gods.
When something genuinely repulses us or the exact opposite fascinates us, we are looking at our own unconscious contents. Ordinary people with faults and flaws do not threaten us or make us as uncomfortable as when our own unconscious characteristics have been triggered, and because we are all both ordinary and extraordinary, seeing someone else as “special” is another sign we are projecting a part of our hidden selves.
Again, this can be same sex, opposite sex, no difference. They are seeing something hidden from view about themselves, and this never ends. There is always more and more being revealed.
As I have strived to become more conscious, I now ask myself what the unconscious wants of me from this particular experience. What is the teleology here? In other words, “where is this headed?” This is not always easy, and when we are repulsed, we can play the victim as long as we want to and say it's all about them. That is our choice, but eventually that will just not work anymore. We have to see there is a pattern being set up in the experience, and it truly does get old. When we have the courage to open our eyes and see the mirror they represent, we are on our way to healing an internal split. My favorite teacher, J. Pittman McGehee, says, “I must become myself, but I cannot become myself alone.”